Telling

诉说

It hasn't gotten any easier.

It was just as hard when I told Kayla as it is now.

People say it gets better with practice.

I guess I haven't had much of that.

Kayla.

Harper. 

And now Amelia.

Alex, Emmett, Bridget...I didn't tell them. 

They found out. In one way or another. And two of them still don't even know the whole truth. 

And there are more who I will need to tell everything to someday.

But how do you say something like that?

How do you give away that much control

And trust that much?

Look what he's done to you

It isn't fair

Your light was bright and new

But he didn't care

He took the heart of a little girl 

And made it grow up too fast

I gritted my teeth and told Amelia. 

I didn't know what to say.

So I just told her, plain and simple. 

Home is not a good place.

And then I told her why.

But I didn't tell her the story I save for people I trust.

I told her the version I tell only those whom I'd trust with my life.

Now words like innocence

Don't mean a thing

You hear the music play

But you can't sing

Those pictures in your mind

Keep you locked up inside your past

Afterwards, my whole body was shaking. My voice was gone. My old brain knew that I'd said too much and that this would not end well. My new brain was just waiting for the old one to stop panicking. 

I had told her everything. 

Details. 

Horror stories. 

The whole truth.


This is a song for the broken girl
The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world

Harper is right. 

The right ones will stick around.

Even if you never wanted them to stick in the first place. 

They see the truth.

No matter what happened to you, no matter what you lost 

You didn't deserve it. 

At.

All. 

And you deserve so, so much better than what you've been through.

You deserve to be loved.  

Those damaged goods you see 

In your reflection

Love sees them differently

Love sees perfection

A beautiful display

Of healing on the way tonight

Tonight

I hate letting people love me because those who were supposed to protect me didn't. 

But those who I pushed away repeatedly are the friends who have kept me going.

Kept me fighting.

Please fight. 

You're worth it. 

No matter what anyone tells you.

There are a lot of things that are hard for me to say

But I can easily and with absolute certainty tell you that.

You're worth it. 

So tell someone what happened.

Even if you tell them the abridged version.

If you need someone, tell me. 

Just practice saying it. 

And I will practice too.

Come on. 

You can do it.

This is a song for the broken girl

The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world

You are

Here me when I say

You're not the worthless they made you feel

There is a love they can never steal away

You don't have to stay the broken girl.

-"Broken Girl" by Matthew West