Anxiety

悬念

Anticipation. 

The moments before something life-changing. 

Suspense.

The moments before facing fear. 

Anxiety. 

The moments of waiting.

And nothing happening. 

The shoe must drop eventually. 

But until it does, here I am in Wonderland, surrounded by insanity, unsure how much of it is mine and how much of it belongs to rabbits and hatters. 

And the Jabberwocky. How much of it is of the Jabberwocky?

All. For in the looking glass lies the picture of the beast. And when it mixes with our image of ourselves, fear becomes life-changing. Suspense meets anticipation.

Anxiety. 

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     I am waiting. I want the shoe to drop. I want to know what is going to happen if I cannot control it. Yet knowledge and control are stripped from me, and all that is left to me is fear. 

     Psalm 56:3: "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee."

     I don't know. And I don't control. You do. 

     You love me.

     You will protect me. 

     I trust You. 

     As I wait for the shoe to drop, I trust You.